So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

There are many types of Spoilers in the video game Need For Speed: Underground II. One particularly was Jorgen. My cousin many times hated the Jorgen Spoiler(whom I would play the game against, back in those days). I would exactly do the opposite. We had two accounts, one on my name and other on his name. In fact many things he would choose and I would ask him "Why do you chose that way?" and he would give me an explanation. He's older than me in age. I would always try to find what is true and untrue about his explanations. I would try to create two versions of same car in My Cars. One would be built from my own sense of customization and the other would be built taking his explanation into consideration. I would try to disprove his explanation, not to him, but to my own self by comparing first car to second. It was true Apples-to-Apples comparison. I would then try to disprove my own disagreement with his explanation. I would then say no this part makes sense, but this is absolute crazy. As a result, my cars were mixed. So if he likes a particular Vinyl, and I not *like* but if my experiments proved it worth it, I would use it (please remember there was also a rating system in the game. The best cars are rated, compared and of course, given sponsors, but my process looked somewhat a bit more complicated with the game's default ranking system combined/involved). I think of that today. I always had an aversion to Authority. Don't get me wrong. I would never harm them, but for the sake of provocation, I would take different hypotheses and try to mix them and disprove my own conclusions. The resulting explanation was lean and many of my own assumptions would be eliminated. I was never convinced by consensus. I was more interested in the question which I would elaborate later on.For now, let's consider an experiment; The Milgram Experiment. Basically Milgram was a Psychologist from the Yale University and he performed an experiment to try to understand how misinfluence from authority worked. He designed a system in which there was a learner, a teacher and an experimenter. The experimenter was an authority figure and it was Milgram himself. The learner and the teacher were research participants. The learner was given some words to learn and later teacher would test learner by giving a word and would say him to suggest its pairing word in a Multiple Choice kind of way. If the learner was wrong, the teacher would provide a shock to learner through electrodes. But this was not a test of learner, more accurately a test of teacher. This job would be complimented with an experimenter. Each time the number of mistakes increased from one, so would the extent to which learner was shocked. It started from 15 V to a dangerous 450V. If the shock exceeded the impedance to which human is used to, that is if shocks crossed the boundary line from not-so-dangerous to real danger which would happen as a result of the experimenter(Authority Figure) instructing teacher with the following progression each time the teacher would realize it's not good to shock the learner, which is as follows:

Prod 1: Please continue.

Prod 2: The experiment requires you to continue.

Prod 3: It is absolutely essential that you continue.

Prod 4: You have no other choice but to continue.

In this case, "you" means the teacher, not the learner dear readers.
This type of experiment, to me, suggest not the folly of authority figure but the folly of person taking the "order", a word I personally hate to a lot of extent. There have been a lot of these conditions in the past. I've been required to do certain things in the past that I would readily say "no" to. It was difficult but I am much "better" at this now than I was in the past. I mainly do it by asking, "Is it true?" more specifically if I had to give a testimony for it on the Supreme Court, what would I say? and in this case, giving a wrong testimony (a lie, indeed) would result in punishment. Remember this is all happening in my brain and I'm imagining the worst-case scenario. If I were to tell you what's going behind my mind, you would laugh your ass out and say does this even matter. Why the hell are you "exaggerating" this matter, another word I hate and this relates to whatever trivial matter there was in front of me. Of course, what is trivial for you, a 20-30 year old, or even a teenager, would be far from trivial to an Eight or Seven year old (meaning it would matter to them). Except for the fact, the matter never mattered to me. It was the question "Is it true?" that mattered to me more than the matter itself. In other words, I always had considered the effects of "my" decisions on others (easier said than done) as a result of me listening to authority or me not listening personally. The question applies still. I always prioritized the explanation that was, not the most simple, but relating to "unconsciousness". That is seeing something as it is, not as a result of intentions (whether good or bad). This is important. I believe the The explanation most likely to be right is the one that contains the least amount of intent. I learnt this from a pattern emerging among the decisions of the Most Holy Prophet(P.B.U.H.) of Allah. The pattern was always related to a mental model called "Hanlon's Razor". You can read more about Hanlon's Razor here. I believe this to be absolutely important. We don't simply need facts. We need to sequence them. Position them in order mentioned above.

I think a lot of malice and "stupidity" can be overcome if people were to keep their mistakes to themselves. There's a saying in Islam, "He who proudly announces his sin would not be forgiven". I cannot attribute the source (please if you find a source, do let me know). Literally meaning, a person is more likely to handle his mistakes if he doesn't "announce" them to everyone. This doesn't mean to not share it. The Sahabas, who are the companions of Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H.), always shared their problems with him. Not to "proudly" announce... but you get the idea. Here's the message: NEVER EVER TELL YOUR SECRETS TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY. Better yet, always find ways to help yourself in a way not giving a hint of actual fact it self. This doesn't mean to not be embarrassed in front of your "friends". Secrets are no easy things. You can share them, as long as the intention is to teach something. But still would you go into the street and yell to everyone, "Hey, this is PIN code of my bank account". No boy you wouldn't. But if the same thing, that is if your wife or mom comes to you and asks you for PIN code, you may tell them, but it still depends. This is lesson number one, "GUARD YOUR SECRETS". A man who cannot guard his secrets has no will of his own. And not just "his" secrets. Any secrets. Those may include secrets of other people who were generous enough to trust you with their secrets. I NEVER EVER SHARE SECRETS. Think of secrets as a giant ocean. No matter whoever throws down the particles, it's still under the same ocean. You can't say "that person's ocean" meaning a property of someone specific. Secrets are secrets. Guard them with your life. If something, whether sharing a secret, would threaten reputation of someone then please refrain from it. The context doesn't matter. Reputation is a very contextual word. You have reputation everywhere. In School, you social circle, your peers and even Parents. Don't take this light.

So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Please, don't dismiss this. A man who doesn't care about reputation of his own, and of those who share their secrets with them, is doomed. If you can't keep secrets, turns out God will mirror all the reputation thwarts onto you.
The lesson is:
It's good to be vulnerable as long as it doesn't threaten your well-being, security and privacy. This law applies to everyone. It applies to 4-year-olds just as it applies to 65-year-olds. Trust is something that is planted like seed. Once you break that trust, you let the other person, even a 6-year-old Aaliyan, to plant an aversion to you and your personality. You destroy the life of not only yourself, but to innocent people who were fool enough to trust you.

Privacy is impossible without security or more accurately, security is impossible without privacy.

It's also important to mention, if you want to confess something or advice someone, then do so privately. People listen when you talk to them in private. Never ever advice your children or your peers in public. This is the Art of Manliness. It's all the test of a man. A test of his true character.

Above all, You are the average of the five most people you spend your time with. Don't waste your time with the people who don't respect themselves.
Give and take, If you have good reputation, it can be put to good use. Never ever let your reputation slip up. This doesn't mean human don't make mistakes. In fact this system of secrecy is to ensure humans make mistakes! When they make mistakes, it should not hamper or hinder their progress. We all are learning. Humans cannot learn without making mistakes. Mistakes is how we learn.